


Rose's Human

by terminator82



Series: Rose's Human [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Fluff Exist as Two Halves of the Same Coin and Nobody Can Tell Me Otherwise, Arc is actually Resolved, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Lotsa Flashbacks, Melancholy, Non permanent character death, POV First Person, Pink Human AU, Singing, Somewhat Crazy Spinel, Violence, action/drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26754874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terminator82/pseuds/terminator82
Summary: Lian, a mysteriously pink human, finds himself in an ancient garden, somewhere out in the middle of space. In the center stands a gem, who, despite being designed for the singular purpose of being happy and excited all the time, just stands there with sullen, sunken eyes.What the hell did Rosedo?
Relationships: Bismuth & Lian, Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Rose Quartz & Lian, Spinel & Lian
Series: Rose's Human [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948831
Kudos: 7





	Rose's Human

**Author's Note:**

> This was just an idea I had upon re-watching Steven Universe again. I'm relatively certain this AU is my original idea. If it's not, feel free to let me know.
> 
> It's pretty long, so I hope the format's easy enough to read.

The light and warmth of the warp pad fade as my eyes adjust to the darker tones of the garden. She told me I wouldn’t be able to find my way back easily, and now I understand why. She didn’t tell me she was sending me into space! Damnit, why don’t I ever ask followup questions?

But, whatever. I should be able to manage. After all, this place is nice enough. Lots of vegetation, though I don’t need to eat anymore. In fact, I probably don’t even need to breathe, but it just feels nice, so I do it anyway. 

This place isn’t much like she described it. I expected to find a grandiose and spacious place, befitting of someone of her previous status. Instead, I see crumbling walls and overgrown shrubs littering an equally broken floating construct. It’s obviously gem tech, keeping it stationary, even in the vacuum. Now, I don’t exactly know why they decided the garden needed air circulation, but I’m glad they did. Gems don’t need to breathe, but as I said, I appreciate being able to.

I look to the middle of the garden, and see the object of my mission: There, standing perfectly still, with vines growing up her body; the desecration of the garden reflects this gem perfectly. I take a step toward her, slowly. And then, another. Once I get close, her glassy eyes light up, for just a moment, before returning to their sullen state.

“Hey, there.” Her eyes focus on me, and her mouth opens. I can almost hear her lips prying apart after such a long time of being clamped shut. She looks like she wants to move, but she continues to stay right where she is.

“Hiya, stranger!” Her voice is so small that I almost completely miss it.

She doesn’t look like I thought she would. Her pigtails, meant to be kept in neat heart-shaped buns, are pulled out from their shape, and form tufts of hair on either side of her head. Instead of freckles, I find that she has small, black streaks flowing freely down her face. I expected to find a happy-go-lucky expression on her face, but instead I see desperation and longing in her eyes.

This gem, made to be friendly and happy all the time. What the hell did you do to her, Rose?

“My name is Lian. What’s yours?”

Her face sparks gleefully in a way that could only remind me of Rose, and she starts giggling goofily. “My name’s Spinel!” She looks as if she wants to jump into a headstand and cartwheel into the next solar system. I’m not sure if that’s just the way she is, or if she’s just happy to talk to someone after so long. Probably both, now that I think about it.

“It’s really nice to meet you.”

“You too!” Her arms flail about her sides as if she’s running, though her feet still hold completely still.

Ah, yes. The good old fashioned awkward silence. I never was a sparkling conversationalist. Seconds of dreadful silence pass by, but Spinel still just seems happy to see me.

I decide to just rip the bandage off. “So… What’re you doing here?”

Spinel flinches a little bit, and her eyes darken, but her voice remains chipper. “I’m playing a game with my Diamond!”

“Okay… so, what’s the game?”

“I’m standin’ reeeeal still.”

I look her in the eyes. I really, really hope that I’m wrong, but I think I know what’s going on here. “That doesn’t sound very fun.”

“It’s…” Spinel looks around, and sighs. “It’s not.” Then, her face brightens up again. I can tell that there’s something behind it, though. “I bet Pink’s having a whole lot of fun, though!”

Yup. Goddamnit, Rose. How could you?

I suppress a sigh, not wanting Spinel to think I’m here begrudgingly. This mission is going to take a lot more from me than I initially thought. “Would it… be more fun with another player?”

Spinel’s hands go up to her cheeks and she gasps dramatically. “Do you want to play with me?”

I don’t, really. Not when I know Rose isn’t actually coming back for us… Like, ever. I’d much rather grab Spinel and get out of here, but I doubt she’ll leave this place willingly. “Sure. How do I play?”

Spinel’s head tilts to the side like she’s a puppy. “Well, Pink just told me to stand here, very still… So, that’s what you gotta do!”

I move to Spinel’s side and plant my feet. I think I can feel the vines crawling around my ankles already. “Is this alright?”

“I think so?”

“Great.”

It’s actually quite pretty here. The infinite sky above our heads give enough light to see our surroundings, but that’s about it. It’s silent in the garden, spare Spinel’s occasional outbursts. She’s a bit hyperactive, despite being in solitude for so long. I can only assume it’s been millenia; after all, I met Rose before the rebellion ever started.

Seeing space for the first time, I can see why the Earth was so precious to Rose. Here, everything is sedentary. There is no wind. No day, or night. It doesn’t rain, or snow, or hail. I know I’m here to keep Spinel company, but really it feels like it’s the other way around. 

“Hey, Spinel?”

“Yessssss?” Her inflection rises through the word.

“Do you… want to talk about Pink Diamond?”

Spinel shrieks as if she’s been waiting for me to ask ever since I got here. “Oh, absolutely! She and I are best friends! She always came to visit me, and I would always make her laugh. Oh, you should’ve heard her.” She leans in closely, holding her hand over the other end of her mouth, as if blocking some imaginary person from reading her lips. “Sometimes, when she would really get going, she would even snort!” She giggles wildly.

“Sounds like you two were pretty close.”

“Yeah. She’s pretty great. I just wish I knew more about this game we’re playing. I mean, usually, when you play a game, stuff happens, right?”

“Usually, yes.”

“Well, nothing’s happened for a few… well, for a long time.” She keeps alternating between the happy-go lucky tone and a more serious one. Her sadness is a bit contagious. Seeing this, after all those other scarring reveals, it’s getting harder and harder to stick up for Rose; what’s worse, is they’re all still secret. Her true identity, the colony, her first Pearl, and now Spinel. Hell, she’s probably keeping this very mission secret from everybody.

“Well, do you want to make something happen?” I know she won’t leave the garden, at least for another long while of convincing, but… Maybe she could still be kept (relatively) happy in the meantime? 

“Like what?”

“Well, we could… Play a game.”

“We’re already playing a game, silly!”

I cup my hand to my chin. “Well, what if we play another game? Like, a game within a game.”

“Ooh! I know, let’s play hide and -- Oh. Maybe that one wouldn’t work out too well. Um… No, not tag.”

Yeah, probably not. “How about… I spy?” Yeah. Great plan, Lian. I’m sure she’s not tired of looking at her surroundings yet, I spy sounds like a great plan.

“What’s that?”

“Oh.” Well, I guess she’s been out of the loop for a while: it makes sense that she wouldn’t know some random human game. “Well, I spy is a game we can play standing still. I say a characteristic about an object we can see, and you have to guess what it is.”

“That sounds like so much fun!” There’s an excited gleam in her gem. I guess she’s pretty happy about it. That’s good. Surprising, but good nonetheless.

...

Minutes turn to hours, and hours turn to days. The days melt together until I’m sure weeks have gone by, and then the weeks perform a fusion dance, just for us. I’m sure that the months will soon turn to years, and years to decades, just as easily. If I could still grow a beard, it’d be down to the floor by now, I’m certain. My ankles, knees, and hips seem to creak and pop with every minuscule movement; it’s almost like I’m getting old, standing here. Well, technically I am really, really old, but that doesn’t really count, since my body doesn’t age.

Spinel seems happier these days, though a bit more cynical than I expected. I suppose having someone here with her is good. After all, I’ve not been here a fraction of how long she has, and yet I already feel like I’m going insane. I don’t know if it’s her hope that Pink Diamond will come back to finish their game, or if she’s just that resilient. That’s part of the reason I’ve been finding it really hard to break it to her.

How am I supposed to tell her that the person she’s been waiting on for six thousand years doesn’t, and never did intend to return for her? I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her, (actually, it was that way around the crystal gems, too; I suck at keeping secrets) but if I were to tell her what’s really going on, it would kill her. Maybe I’m exaggerating. Either way, I’ve got to try something. As much as Rose doesn’t deserve the out I’m here to give her, Spinel does. Not to mention: I swore. I told Rose I’d fix her mistake.

I guess I understand why she couldn’t be here herself. The crystal gems need her. They need to keep taking care of the corrupted gems. But still, it feels like she’s running away from it all.

I clear my thoughts. Now’s not the time for reflection. I’ll have a little talk with Rose when I get back to Earth. Right now, I need to get this ball rolling, for real this time.

I bend my knees and flex my toes; every joint present and between protest my sudden movement in unison. I raise my arms above my head and stretch my muscles out. It feels nice, but not nearly as nice as running would feel. Hell, I would give up eating for a decade if it meant going for a walk through the garden.

“Hey, Spinel?”

“Yeah, Lian? Wanna play a new game?”

“Tempting… But not right now.” I ignore Spinel’s sounds of disappointment. “Actually, I was wondering if you wanted to hear a story.”

“Hm…” Spinel tilts her head and points a finger gun at her chin dramatically. “I dunno… I think I’d rather play a game.”

“Aren’t you curious, though?”

“Hm?” Spinel meets my eyes, for real this time.

“About me, I mean. I’m a human, you know.”

“Um… Yeah, I know. Ya told me that before, but I don’t really know… what that means.”

“Well, let me tell you then.”

“Fine. I wanna play something when the story’s over, though.”

Well, here goes nothing.

_Ages ago, long before the war, --_

“Wait wait wait wait, why are you doing that?”

_Doing what?_

“That! With your voice!”

_It’s my storytelling voice._

“What a nerd.”

_Hey, you didn’t even know that word before I told you._

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let’s just get on with it.”

_Anyway… Before the war, instead of fighting gems, humans fought each other._

“Why?”

_Pretty much for any reason we could think of. Land, money… --sigh-- ... Women. It was pretty bad. What’s worse, I wanted to be just like them when I grew up._

“Grew up?”

_It’s a thing humans do._

“Oh.” 

_Can you quit interrupting me now?_

Spinel literally zips her lips.

_So there I was, a young human on the rise. I wanted so badly to become a knight, like the heroes of legend I’d heard of growing up. One day, I was feeling especially desperate to prove myself. I ventured outside my city’s walls with nothing but my sword--more like a wooden stick, actually--and my wits._

“Wits? You?” Spinel zipped her mouth back up just as soon as she had unzipped it, though she couldn’t hide the shit-eating grin on her face.

I take a deep breath. Do it for Rose, Lian. Do it for Rose.

_Anyway. I left my city in search of adventure and glory. Of course, I was just a kid then, so the whole ‘adventuring’ part of the adventure sucked. I starved, most nights, and it didn’t take long for my ‘weapon’ to break apart._

_Then, one day, I came across this giant strawberry field. (Strawberries are an Earth plant.) I was so happy that I actually cried. I immediately dove into the strawberry bushes and started filling my mouth. I could go on for hours about the rich flavor and texture, and the refreshing juices._

“Maybe another time.”

 _Right. Like I was saying, I found this strawberry field, which is where I met her. Rose. She’s pretty much what Pink Diamond is to you, to me._  
That line seems to have drawn Spinel’s attitude from a snarky one to a more serious one. “Why haven’t you talked about her before?”

“I… um… just haven’t thought to?” Why do I have to be so bad at lying?

“Oh… Can you tell me about her?”

“Sure. It’s part of the story, anyway.”

_I stood up from the strawberry bush, having plucked each and every fruit from it. My stomach was full, and I was ready to keep exploring. Unfortunately, the ground was uneven, and difficult to traverse due to the thick vegetation. Still, I was determined to keep moving. I kept going deeper and deeper into the field, and as I did, I found that the fruit grew larger the further I went. It freaked me out a bit, but not enough to drive me away._

_Then, I heard a voice._

_“So, you’ll stay and fight, then?”_

_“Of course, my… Rose. I will follow you until the day my gem shatters.”_

“What was with that pause?”

_Pause?_

"You paused."

_I was... catching my breath._

Spinel makes a suspicious grunt toward me, but nods for me to continue.

_Anyway, I was scared: they were the first people I’d found since I’d embarked on my journey, and I was quite far from home. It was unlikely that they would be friendly. Luckily, I found a convenient stick lying around near me. I struggled to pull it out of the vines, but eventually I yanked it from the ground’s grasp, and started toward the voices._

_“Alright, then. If you’re going to fight, you’re going to need to know how.”_

_Well, this was pretty much what my journey was all about: I wanted to be a fighter, and live up to the glorious tales I grew up on. For some reason, though, attacking these women didn’t seem right to me. Still, I wanted to complete my goal._

_I stepped out into the open, brandishing my newest stick. It was a decent size, about twice the length of my forearm. I figured it would be good enough to drive them off._

_But then, I saw them. One of them was very pale, and bowed towards the other in a way that was reminiscent of the way a servant might bow to their master. She looked frail, like a single swing from a twig would be enough to knock her down. Her orange hair fell to the sides of her face, not covering her sky blue eyes._

_The other one, though, was very well-built. She had broad shoulders which did not decrease in size down to the elbows. She had huge, pink curls which flowed around her body, in whatever manner they seemed to feel was right. Her eyes were simple, and every bit as round and plump as her lips were. I’m certain I failed to hide the blush in my face when she turned to look at me._

_“Oh! A human.”_

_But no amount of flatteringly good looks was going to stop me. “Listen up! I’m Lain of Gallow, and I am here to conquer my enemies!”_

“Oh, my god. You really are a nerd!”

“Come on, Spinel, we’re never going to finish the story at this rate.”

“What a pick up line!”

“Ugh.”

“I’m sure she fell head over heels for you with that.”

_Not exactly. She immediately burst out in laughter, making my blush only grow more severe._

_“Am I your enemy?”_

_I was taken aback. Women weren’t supposed to fight, and yet Rose was standing up to me. “Um… yes?”_

_“Okay. I’ll fight you then.”_

“What? You fought her?”

_It wasn’t much of a fight, really. She moved faster than I could have seen, and I was on my butt faster than I could have swung my stick at her._

_“There, I win.”_

_I looked up at her as the sun shone from behind her rose pink curls; she was glowing._

“Aww, little Lian had a crush?”

_I like to think it was about more than that, but yes. I saw something in her I’d never seen before, and I knew immediately I wanted more of it._

_Unfortunately, she had other plans. She giggled quietly to herself, and turned to her companion. “Okay, Pearl. Let’s leave this human be and find another place.”_

_“Yes, my Rose.”_

_“Just Rose is fine.”_

_Just as quickly as I’d found them, they were walking away from me._

_“Wait!” I yelled after them, and tried my best to keep up. While I tripped and fell every few steps because of the vines lining the ground, the two women seemed to have little to no problems. The one Rose called Pearl danced around elegantly, while Rose herself just looked like she was floating directly above it all._

_Finally, I got within earshot once more. Rose turned around with a slightly exhausted smile on her face. “Listen, human. There’s no time for us to stay and play with you.”_

_“...Play? No, I don’t want to play. I want you to teach me!”_

_“Huh?” Her look of surprise was genuine. At the time, I thought it was because I sucked up my pride and asked to be taught by a woman._

_“I don’t get it. What’s wrong with being taught by a woman?”_

_“Yeah, I don’t get it either, anymore.”_

_I decided to put all my eggs into one basket; (It’s a human phrase, Spinel. Don’t read too far into it.) I knew I wouldn’t see her again if I let her go. “I’ll… I’ll be your knight!”_

_This time, Pearl spoke up. “You’ll be her what?”_

_I gave her a dumbfounded look. “Her knight… Like, you know. A knight!”_

_“I… do not know what that is.”_

_“A knight is a warrior, sworn to the sword, and to his master!”_

_“So, you want to be my slave?” Rose’s confusion continued to grow._

_“No, not a slave, a Knight! I’ll be there to protect you from evil!”_

_And there was the laughing again. “Oh, you humans are too funny.”_

_“I’m serious!”_

_Rose continued to laugh until she saw the look on my face. “Oh… Listen, that’s sweet, but...” Then, she looked over to Pearl, and gave her a look, asking for help. However, Pearl seemed to be off in her own little world. “Uh, Pearl?”_

_Suddenly, she turned to Rose with a determined look in her eye. “I’ll be your knight!”_

_I took a step forward. ‘Wha-- No! I said I’d be her knight first!”_

_“Well, I’ve already sworn my life to her.”_

_“Well, I’ll make a much better knight than you!”_

_We butted heads for a few seconds, before Rose took a single step forward, and the both of us stopped immediately to hear her verdict._

_“You’re totally serious about this?”_

_Pearl and I nodded in unison, and then glared at each other over it._

_Rose sighed. “Alright, then. I will teach both of you.” Then, she turned to look at me. “But it will be very hard, especially for you.”_

_I wouldn’t have had it any other way._

“And that’s how I became Rose’s knight!”

Spinel stares at me. “What.”

I snicker. “What?”

“You’re not done, yet! You said you’d explain everything!”

“Did I?”

“Yes!”

“What haven’t I explained?”

“Lian.” She squints at me. “You’re pink. And in space.”

Fair enough.

“I don’t wanna give the whole story away, yet. We’re gonna be here a while, right?”

Spinel lets out a frustrated groan. “How long do I have to wait for more?”

“Like, a couple weeks, maybe?”

Spinel flinches, and her eyes soften. “You’re... really staying here for that long?”

“Of course. I’m playing the same game as you, right?”

“I kind of expected you to get bored and leave by now.”

Of course she did. “Nope. I’ve spent a lot more time doing a lot worse stuff.”

“Oh. Well, I’m glad you’re here.”

It’s good to hear her talking to me in earnest like this. I’d been hoping that being here all alone didn’t make her all too angsty, but it seems she’s still got a soft side to show, once and awhile.

“Well… Okay, then. You promised me a game.”

“That, I did.”

**…**

“You don’t think you could, like, take a few steps away from that spot?”

Spinel huffs. “That’s not how the game works, and you know it..”

“Yeah, I know. It’s just. I can’t feel my legs.”

“So go take a walk, dummy!’

“Can’t. I’m playing a game. According to the gem with the rules, I can’t move from this spot. It’s tragic, but I’ll have to make this sacrifice.”

Spinel inhales and winds her body up several times. Then, she unwinds and lets loose a huge, angsty sigh. “You’re the worst.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

I can’t help but chuckle at her theatrics as I bend my knees, and... hear several joints popping in unison. That can’t be good, can it? Eh, whatever. If standing around for a few weeks is gonna kill me, I wasn’t meant to live any longer anyway.

“Hey!” Spinel looks at me with stars in her eyes. “I know what’ll distract you from your noodle legs!”

“Hm. A few shots of la Bola de Fuego, some general tso’s chicken, and a good night’s rest in a bed?” 

“I don’t even know what any of those things are.”

“Fine. Lemme guess. You want me to tell me more of that story?”

“Yes please.”

“Hm… I could keep telling it to you...”

Spinel spins her arms into a little table, and rests her elbows on it expectantly.

“Huh. I seem to have an interesting position of power here.”

“Pleeeeeease! I can’t stand cliffhangers! This story’s been on hiatus for, like, weeks now!”

“I’ve been standing still for that long, too.”

“Ugh! Fine! I will… allow you, under the rules of the game, to take a walk.”

“Hm… Don’t want you to get lonely without me.”

“Come on, the garden’s not even that big!” I can tell Spinel’s beginning to breach into that area of real anger, as opposed to the joking variety we’ve been bantering with.

“Just come with me. It’ll be pretty quick. Just an hour long trek around the garden. No one will know but us.”

“I--”

“And if Pink Diamond comes back while we’re walking, I’ll tell her I made you do it.”

“You--”

“And I’ll tell you the story while we walk.”

“...”

“Spinel?”

“Fine.”

“Hm?”

“I said, _fine!_ ” Spinel’s tooth-gritted frown is something I’ve never seen before. It doesn’t look great on her.

“Great.” I hold my hand out to Spinel. Begrudgingly, she grabs it and looks away. I know I shouldn’t feel too bad about manipulating her like this, because it’s for her own good, but it still feels kind of cruddy.

I pick up my left foot for the first time in weeks, and take a step forward. I can’t really describe the feeling; weeks of lactic acid being pushed from my legs feels better than it has any right to.

I look over to Spinel, who still seems apprehensive.

“Here, let me help you; your shoes are tied.” I crouch down and start tearing apart the vines surrounding her feet. She raises a confused eyebrow at me.

“What are shoes?” 

My brilliant humor is lost here. I sigh, “Nevermind.”

I finish working at the vines and stand up. I never put much thought to it, but we’re actually the same height, which is weird considering I’m pretty tall, for a human. 

I hold my hand back out to her, and she grasps it. Looking at her face, she’s still quite nervous about moving. I can’t tell if it’s because she thinks Pink Diamond will come back and catch her, or if it’s… Something else. 

“Come on, then. Let’s go.” I pull on her arm, but she does not move. “Spinel?”

“Y-yeah, I’m coming.”

Spinel does not budge. Huh. She might need more coaxing. I step in closer, crouch down a bit, and wrap my arms around her tightly.

“Spinel…”

“Uh… Lian?”

Then, I stand up fully, picking her up on the way.

“Hey!”

I take a few steps away from her spot, and set her back down on the ground. “There. See? You moved, and everything’s still alright.”

Spinel breathes irregularly, and quickly.

“Uh, Spinel? Are you alright?” She continues to hyperventilate. Crap… Crap! I shouldn’t have moved her when she wasn’t ready to move. What if she doesn’t trust me again? The mission’s gonna be--no, screw the mission. Spinel might end up here forever, and it’ll be my fault! “Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

Spinel’s breaths begin to change slightly in tone. There’s a bit of voice behind them now, almost as if she’s… Laughing?

“Heeheehee, that. Was really fun.”

What.

“I haven’t flown through the air like that since Pink was still around!”

I... really need to get a grip, don’t I?

“Okay, I think I can do it now.” Spinel grabs my hand from my side and takes a shaky step away from me. Yes! A step! Finally, progress!

I follow in her footsteps as she trails around the garden. She’s practically dancing about, now.

“Enjoying yourself?” 

Spinel covers her mouth and giggles. “Yes! This is... really fun.”

That’s great. What’s better, the feeling is starting to come back to my legs again!

Spinel hums quietly to herself, a tune I’ve never heard before. It’s weirdly somber, an isn’t something I would have expected from her. With every new step, a count in her song. Spinel opens her mouth, and lets the song continue.

_“Here in the garden… Let’s play a game;_

_I’ll show you how it’s done.”_

She has a nice singing voice, I realise. It’s soft, yet well defined; I can tell it’s not exactly the first time she’s sung this song.

“Ahem.” Spinel stops moving, and worse yet, stops singing.

“Um… Yes?”

“You owe me another story.”

“Ah. right.” Goodbye, good times of the present. Hello, painful memories.

Alright, then. Where was I?

“You became Rose’s knight.”

_Right, right. I learned a lot about the world, being with Rose; actually, I learned a lot about the universe, too. At the same time, though, there was a lot I didn’t understand, and a lot neither of them expected me to. I couldn’t help but feel like… How do I say this… Like a pet?_

“Hm.” Touchy subject, I suppose.

_Still, Rose trained me, all the same. It was like she said; it was difficult, and grueling. She didn’t understand that humans need to eat, drink, and sleep until I explained it to her, and even then I always got the feeling that she’d never truly wrapped her head around it._

_Rose had brought us to a monument in the sky, dedicated toward training gems in more advanced combat. It was clear that day, so we were totally free to train there._

_To be honest, I wasn’t the best at sword fighting. Pearl was much more graceful than me in nearly every aspect. It was to the point that it wouldn’t be fair for us to really spar, especially because we were using real swords._

_Rose would heal my wounds, but I could see a glimpse of regret shining in her eyes. I knew she thought it was a mistake bringing me along, and that only made me more frustrated._

_That day, Pearl knocked me a fair distance away; the monument was quite large, but she’d still managed to toss me all the way across the training area, and into a hallway. I hit my head on the wall, and fell flat on the floor._

_“Ow.”_

_“Do you need a break, Lian? I can spar with Rose for awhile if you need to take a second.” Pearl’s tone was a toxic mix of smugness, pride, and genuine concern. Somehow, I actually felt the third one was the worst of the bunch._

_I didn’t want to sit up, quite yet, so I gave Pearl a thumbs-up in the distance. I heard her giddy sounds all the way across the field._

_I sat up, holding the back of my head painfully. She really did a number on me this time._

_“Oh. I thought there wasn’t supposed to be anybody here today.” The unfamiliar voice coaxed me from my sitting position fast enough, and I turned to see its source._

_Standing in front of me was a large woman in a worker’s apron; her hair fell to her broad shoulders, and sported every color of the rainbow._

_“Uh… Hello, there.”_

_“Are you… alright?”_

_“I’ll be fine.”_

_The two of us stared at each other for a moment, before she turned to her right, and started working. Her hand glowed for a moment, before shifting into a hammer-like shape. Of course, I was immediately taken with this unique power, and approached to watch her at work._

_She hammered away at a single misplaced peg in the wall, until it was pushed in far enough to hold… whatever was supposed to be held in place._

_“What are you doing?”_

_The woman turned to me slowly. “Oh. You’re still here, huh?”_

_“Yup.”_

_The two of us got to talking a bit. She told me her name was Bismuth, and that she was here to repair the monument while there was no training scheduled. I asked her if she could build other stuff, and she said yes. So, obviously, I asked her what her favorite stuff to build was._

_You know, basic conversation stuff. For some reason, though, Bismuth seemed a bit taken by that last question. She said she didn’t know the answer, and finished what she was doing._

“I thought this story was about Rose.”

“It is, but this is important, too.” Spinel shrugs, and turns the corner before continuing to walk around the garden.

_Anyway, Bismuth left, and I returned to training._

_The day ended, and they warped me back to a temporary place I built for myself. They said they couldn’t take me back to their home; as much as I hated it, I couldn’t argue. Rose was my liege, and I was to do as she instructed._

_I didn’t know why I was having such a rough time learning how to swordfight; it’d been my goal ever since I was little. I felt spited by the world. Despite trying my best, I was no match for Pearl. I could see that Rose would choose her over me in a heartbeat._

_But I kept trying, anyway. I would accompany them to the training arena every day, and wait for them on days they never showed up. Sometimes, I was alone for weeks, but I kept training anyway. I wanted to be worthy of her time, so badly._

_That’s one of the reasons I started to get frustrated a bit later on. I’d been training with Rose for, I dunno, probably a couple years at that point. I wasn’t just a scrawny kid anymore, you know? I’d grown, and I’d gotten pretty good with a sword, too. Not as good as Pearl, but I was starting to get there. But still, they left me out of the important things._

_One day, they warped to Earth (By this point I’d figured out they were aliens), and Rose was still fuming after a meeting with the--I mean,--her family._

“You said she was a Rose Quartz?” Spinel stops walking.

“Um… Yes.”

“Gems don’t have families, Lian.”

“Ah, that’s right, my mistake.” Phew.

_She returned from a meeting. She was furious that they wouldn’t listen to her about preserving organic life on Earth. She thought that the growth and change of the planet was something beautiful, you see._

_She came up with a plan to rebel against homeworld, to drive them away from the planet. Bismuth, who’d returned to the sky monument a few times, and spoke with Rose, agreed with her ideals, and joined the cause. Other quartzes and gems of all sorts had joined the fight. Of course, Pearl wanted to be a part of it as well, and so did I. But Rose did not want me anywhere near the fight. She insisted I was too fragile, being a human, and all._

_I argued, and I struggled, and I fought, but no matter what, Rose did not budge on this; she even released me from my knighthood, not that it probably ever mattered that much to her anyway._

“You left her to go into battle alone?”

_Back then, I was so spiteful, I actually listened to her. I was so mad with myself for not living up to her standards. I was mad at her, even. How could she just throw me away? I worked so hard to be everything she would need, and she left me._

Spinel has stopped walking. I guess we’ve walked for long enough, anyway.

I take her hand, and pull her with me. She looks as if she’s deep in thought; that’s good, I think.

“Here. Let’s try this, for now.” I lay down on my back, ignoring the irregularly shaped vines prodding at me. Spinel lays down beside me.

“So you left, then?”

“Well, there’s a bit more to that story, but...” I turn to look at her directly. “Are you okay?”

Spinel puts her thumbs in her mouth, and pulls her lips apart, forming a huge grin. “Yessirrrey!”

I don’t know if it’s her eyes, or her tone of voice, but she’s definitely lying. Still, though. Unless I wanna spend a thousand years standing here in this garden, I’m gonna have to make her uncomfortable eventually.

“If you say so.”

_So, I started heading home. It took me months to venture through all the land I covered during my journey with Rose and Pearl. I tried my best to tell myself that it was just the next step in my life; just another big change. I was going to come back to my city, whose name I’ve long since forgotten, a full-fledged knight._

_But I couldn’t help but feel something missing, as I strided through the thick undergrowth of that giant strawberry field, and I had nothing to do but walk, and think. Believe me, I had a lot to think about. Why had I ventured from my village in the first place? I wanted to become a knight. I had wanted to be just like all of the knights from legends, some already lost to the sands of time. Well, now I was, but it didn’t feel right._

_As I walked along the edge of the strawberry field, I noticed a weird strawberry. I’d been in that field multiple times before, but I never saw anything like it. I leaned down and tried to pick it from the vine, curious. However, when I pulled on it, it simply fell apart; it’d completely dried out. Practically dust._

_I searched around for more like it, and, unfortunately, found them. The farther I went in this direction, the more of the plant life looked dead: too decayed for any creature to eat. I picked up my speed. You see, I’d grown quite attached to this field, as it was one of the places I would often stop to eat. If there was something really wrong with it, I wanted to figure out what was going on, and try to put a stop to it._

_I reached the edge of the field, and what I saw terrified me. This area, which used to be forested, was brimming full with life of every kind, was now barren, and gray. Where I used to see flower petals, I now saw nothing but rocks, and dusty soil._

_I no longer heard the cheerful songs of birds, or the soft melody of leaves brushing each other in the breeze. The air tasted stale, and dusty; it was as if the soil itself had perished._

_My grip tightened around my sword as I gritted my teeth. I’d overheard Rose and Pearl talking about the ‘kindergartens.’ Is this what the gems were doing to my world? Is this what Rose wanted to stop?_

_Then it really hit me. Before, I knew they were doing something bad, but seeing it for myself made it feel real. I could only assume that homeworld had an army. Earth had Rose, and Pearl, and Bismuth; maybe a few more, but that much was it. They couldn’t fight an army with ten people. Hell, they wouldn’t be able to do it with a hundred, or probably even a thousand._

_I understood something, then. Rose didn’t send me away because I wasn’t good enough to fight in her war. She sent me away because she thought I was too good for it: too good to die for her cause._

_And I left her to fight all on her own._

“So what did you do?”

_Obviously, I went back. Rose wanted to fight for my world without me. I couldn’t let it happen. I was going to fight by her side, and die by it, as well._

“That’s… Really brave, Lian.”

“Eh, you could be brave too, if you wanted.”

“What? You’re kidding, right?”

I shake my head no.

“It’s not like there’s a war for me to gallantly charge into, Sir Knight.”

“You’re wrong.”

“So there is a war?”

“Wha--no. Well, Kind of. But that’s not what I mean. Running headfirst into a war--you could say that’s a courageous thing to do.”

“Um, yeah?”

“But that wasn’t the thing that really took courage. Not for me, at least.”

“Then what did?”

I look back up to the thousand stars, shining above us. “I didn’t listen to Rose. I went back, even though she’d be mad at me for it; I chose to do what was right, rather than following her instructions. If you ask me, that’s what I think was really brave.”

“Hm.”

I roll onto my back, and then forward to stand up. I hold my hand out to Spinel. “But, you don’t have to be brave right now. You’ve already taken some big steps forward, today.”

Spinel grabs my hand and stands up. “Thanks, Lian. I… I really--wait, was that a joke?”

I smirk. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

**…**

Using Rose’s powers is pretty hard. I have to focus on my connection to her, and then channel it through the magic in my body, and then visualise the form I want that power to take. Shields are a bit tough, but I got the hang of them within a thousand years. Using her diamond powers, on the other hand, is in a whole other ballfield. Still, I’ve had thousands of years to master it, so it’s doable. Luckily, today, I don’t need to focus too much at all; I just need to make a few bubbles.

I walk over to some of the leaves laying on the ground. The trees here died a long time ago, but their leaves can’t decay properly, because there’s nothing here to decay them. There’s a decent variety; some are as big as my hand. I grab a few and make my way back over to Spinel.

“You said you could juggle, right Spinel?”

“In my sleep!”

“Great. Teach me, then.” I grab a leaf and bubble it.

“Woah, what the heck? You have powers?!”

“Nope. I’m just really lucky you have self-bubbling leaves here.”

“Lian.”

I smirk, and hand her another bubbled leaf. “What? Don’t you believe me?”

Spinel shakes her head and pinches the bridge of her nose like a tired parent. “I thought humans didn’t have powers.”

“They, uh… They don’t. I’m (probably?) the only one who does.”

Spinel wrinkles her nose. “How did that happen?”

“It’s a pretty long story.”

Spinel’s face tells me I’ve just said something stupid.

I sigh. “Maybe later, I wanna learn to juggle.”

Spinel takes the bubbled leaves and tosses them into the air. “It’s easy, you just need to do this, and this.” She lets the bubble fall into her right hand, and quickly tosses it up into the air. Then, she does it again, but with her left hand. 

“Spinel, the whole point of you teaching me is that I can’t do it yet.”

“I’m showing you!” Spinel does a little twirl, still juggling.

“That’s not really good enough, though.”

“Well, what do you want me to do, then?”

“Well, what did you do when you were learning to juggle?”

“I’ve just always known how.”

“Oh. Right.” It’s getting increasingly difficult to find new things to occupy my time with. I think I’m going to go crazy, sitting here.

“Well, you’ve got a loooooooooong story, and we’ve got a looooooooong time, so maybe we could… You know. Work out a little somethin’ here?”

“Sigh. Fine, I’ll tell you the story.”

“Wait, did you just say the word ‘Sigh?’”

_Rose wasn’t happy to see me, but I didn’t care._

“Are we not going to talk about this?”

_I was determined to fight by her side, and not even she could change my mind. I continued to work on my swordsmanship, and now I had other gems to spar with, as well. Bismuth was tough, but she didn’t move around nearly as gracefully as Pearl, so I could actually hit her. There were other quartzes, too, though none of them were like Rose._

_It was months before my first mission; it was meant to be a stealthy operation, and an easy one, to boot. We were supposed to sabotage some of the injectors in the prime kindergarten in order to stop the production of new gems there._

_My team, led by Rose, of course, was caught pretty quickly. Still, we had to stop the injectors. Pearl and I stood by Rose and defended her from the oncoming Amethysts. We won the fight pretty easily, and I came through without a scratch, having poofed a few of our enemies myself. I broke my sword in the process, however. I thought the fighting had ended for the time being, so I left it there: I could get Bismuth to make me a new one._

_Suddenly, battle cry echoed around the canyons. I whipped my head around to see what was going on, and saw an amethyst behind Rose, her gem glowing readily. She reached into her gem and pulled out a club the size of my torso, and brandished it over her shoulder menacingly._

_I didn’t think about it for a second; I ran right in as she took a swing, and caught the club with both arms, but not before it hit me square in the ribs._

_I ignored the distinct crack that obviously came from my bones, and called for help through gritted teeth. “Pearl!” She immediately focused in on the attacker, and pierced her with a sword. The gem and weapon disappeared simultaneously, and I dropped to my knees, clutching my chest._

_Rose knelt beside me. “Are you okay, Lian?”_

_I gave her a smile. “Yup. A few cracked ribs won’t hold me down.”_

_She chuckled, and picked me up off the ground. What kind of knight was I, anyway? I was broken, and the one I was to protect had to carry me around. But, for some reason, it still felt good. It felt like what I was doing was better: that it was right._

_I don’t know if it was then, or later that I realised I’d never wanted be be a knight. It wasn’t the shining armor, or the chivalry, or the glory that had attracted me to this life. No, it wasn’t really a knight that I wanted to be, but rather, a hero._

“What does that have to do with you having powers?”

“You are… weirdly impatient.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s nothing. Anyway, moving on.”

“No, really, what do you mean?”

_I fought in battle after battle._

“Hey!”

_Injuries came with the fighting, of course. After all, I was just a human among gems with powers I’d never seen before, and technology I couldn’t comprehend. Every time we started a new skirmish, we’d finish it swiftly, and leave before reinforcements arrived._

_By now, Rose had told us stories about the…_ I’m going to have to do this eventually. I might as well do it now. _The merciless Pink Diamond._

“What? Psh, Merciless?”

Spinel looks to see the joking smile on my face, but unfortunately, this is no joke.

_The only thing I knew about her was that she was the reason my world was being invaded. She was the enemy. Every time we took out a caravan, or returned to the kindergarten to continue our assault on it, it was her face that was on our minds._

“W-what?”

_One day, Rose decided that it would be better to, instead of continuing to fight uphill, simply capture Pink herself of course, I went with her without question. We fought our way through her base on the moon, poofing and bubbling the gems defeated for interrogation back on Earth. When we reached the final staircase up to the control room, my two companions turned to me._

_“Lian, we need to you to stay here. Make sure that no reinforcements come to Pink’s aid.”_

_I wasn’t totally on board with it, but I agreed anyway. I wanted to protect Rose, but I guess keeping an eye out for reinforcements was another way of doing it. I waited at the bottom of the staircase, sword drawn for what seemed like an eternity._

_Suddenly, I heard Pearl scream above me, and I rushed up the stairs, ready for a fight. I got to the top of the stairs, though, and heard Rose’s gentle voice. It sounded like she was trying to calm someone down, so I stopped at the top of the stairs, not yet revealing myself._

_“Shh, Pearl, it’ll be okay.”_

_Pearl’s voice was shaky. “I-I can’t do this… You’re… You’re my d--”_

_Pearl’s voice was muffled by something._

_I heard Rose’s voice next. “That doesn’t matter. I’ll be fine, and so will you.”_

_“What if something happens? What if we can’t get back? What if--”_

_Pearl is cut off by the sound of the base’s entrance opening and closing._

_I didn’t know what they were talking about, but I did know it was my duty to protect them from whatever reinforcements came for them. I rushed back down the stairs, and peeked into the chamber below. There was, admittedly, way more than I could have really handled. Five rubies, undoubtedly preparing to fuse, a couple amethysts, and a huge Jasper, already having equipped her helmet, were rushing the stairs simultaneously._

_I probably could have taken the Jasper, had she been alone. I could have taken the Amethysts, or the Rubies, maybe. But they were together, and there wasn’t much I could do. I clutched my sword tighter than I’d ever before, and planted my feet. I needed to remember the basics._

_Keep my stance wide, and my body lowered. Right foot, and then the left. Keep my eyes on the opponents before me. I was just a human, so they underestimated me, but that wasn’t even my greatest advantage: no, the greatest edge I had wasn’t the one on my sword. You see, when you live for someone, you’re prepared to die: that’s the edge that never dulls._

_I dodged a punch coming downward from the Ruby fusion, just in time to see the Jasper rushing up the stairs. I jumped up, grabbed the edge of the platform, and launched myself into a kick at her chest, which sent her tumbling down the steps._

_“You’ll have to get through me, first.” Jasper got up promptly and threw a glare at me: her face held an expression that was nearly as resolute as mine._

_I hopped down off the stairs, and started toward Jasper. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one I had to deal with. A whip struck me in the back, tearing my clothes and skin. From my left, the other Amethyst charged at me, brandishing a long dagger._

_I sidestepped the dagger’s swipe, and stomped down on the whip before it could rap me again. While I was distracted, though, the Rubies came at me before I could strike the dagger wielder. She hit me in the side, sending me flying toward a wall in the distance, and cracking some of my ribs._

_“Good work, Ruby. Now we just need to get up there and--”_

_“Nope.” I stood up, clutching at my side. Each breath that I took felt like another stab in my side, but I continued going anyway._

_“Great. You guys take care of that thing, I’ll go see our Diamond.”_

_I stood taller and brandished my sword. “I.” I took a step forward. “Said,” another. “NO!” I used the element of surprise, and lunged at the amethyst closest to the stairs. My attack pierced her physical form, and she exploded into a cloud of white._

_I didn’t have time to stop and think: If I allowed them to get their bearings, I was done for. I took another diagonal swing at the other Amethyst, but she dodged. Her fast, clumsy movement left her off-balance, so I followed up by dropping to the ground and sweeping her leg out from under her. Before I could poof her, though, Jasper slugged me in the face; the force of the punch alone was enough to spin me in a circle, and nearly knocked me off my feet._

_The Amethyst got back onto her feet with a mean look on her face. Well, there went my element of surprise._

_Jasper ran toward me fiercely, helmet first. I dropped to the floor, and threw a kick upwards as she tackled at me, effectively throwing her over my back, before getting up and charging at the other two gems. I ignore the pain in my side and take a broad swing at the Amethyst, which caused her to jump back a few feet._

_Luckily, that had been my plan from the beginning; with her out of stabbing range, I could target the Ruby without distractions. She stood a few feet over my head, but she was incredibly slow._

_She went to grab me, but I ducked under her legs and stabbed her through the back with my sword. Her body was too dense, however, and the sword barely pierced their first layer. I took a couple steps back, and took a running start before jumping and throwing a kick toward the hilt of my sword: the force was fortunately enough to drive the sword through her chest fully. Before she unfused, however, she grabbed my sword’s edge sticking out her chest, and used her body like a lever, breaking my sword in two._

Spinel bites her fingernails, grows them back, and bites at them again.

_The rubies unfused and laid on the floor, groaning. I would’ve like to do the same exact thing, given the choice. But, there was no time for a break. Jasper and Amethyst both ran at me._

_I ducked out of the way, and the Amethyst ran headfirst into the wall, but Jasper wasn’t going to fall for that again. She jabbed her hand into the ground, and used it to pivot herself around at me again. This time, though, instead of running after me, she curled herself into a ball, surrounded herself with orange fire, and launched at me. I didn’t have time to move, so the only option I had was to try and block the attack somehow._

_I held my arms in front of my body, trying to stop her from reaching me. Her fire burned my hands, and she knocked me back against the wall, but that didn’t stop her. She just kept pushing forward, determined to crush me with all her might._

_I tried my best to hit her with my knee, but there was no effect. Instead, I pulled back my right arm, still holding the broken end of my sword, and brought it down on her just as she broke through my defenses. The wall cracked as my body was pushed into it, but I had managed to poof the Jasper, at least._

_Then, the Amethyst was all that was left. She shook her head, still reeling from having impacted the wall. I try to get up, but I think I had too many broken bones at that point. I closed my eyes as the Amethyst started toward me, dagger in hand._

_I don’t remember much else from that. She kept trying to poof me, not knowing that humans don’t poof._

“Lian?” Spinel looks worried. “What’s wrong?”

I look down to see my knuckles have turned white from gripping at my shirt, which is now all kinds of bent out of shape. “I’m fine, Spinel. Don’t worry about it.”

“If you say so.”

_The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes, and saw that Rose was crying over me. Pearl also had a concerned look on her face, surprisingly._

_“H-hey,” I coughed blood. Apparently, my ribs had punctured my lungs, which, I have to say, doesn’t feel the greatest. “Don’t worry about me, Rose. Humans d-die all the t-time.” I tried to put on a confident smile, but I’m sure she could see through it._

_“No. Not my human.” She brushed my hair from my eyes. “Not you. Never you. This wasn’t supposed to happen, I don’t…” Rose’s eyes harden resolutely, and she stands up, fists clenched. “Lian. You’re going to be alright. Close your eyes for a minute. Do not peek.”_

_I didn’t think I was going to survive, but I smiled and listened to her anyway. Through my closed eyes, I saw a pink light, and heard the sound of shapeshifting. There was a long exhale, and I felt a cold drop of water on my face. It rolled down my cheek and down to my chest before it disappeared._

_Closing my eyes had been a mistake: I was so tired from the battle, and from the loss of blood that I couldn’t stay awake. I fell asleep, and I died._

“You WHAT?”

“Died.”

“Quit pullin’ my leg.”

“I’m not; look.” I pull up my shirt, revealing some of the scars left by that Amethyst.

“If you died, then how are you here, huh?”

“I was getting to that part.”

Spinel stares me in the eyes for a few seconds, probably trying to tell if I’m lying, then makes a gesture for me to continue.

_I woke up back on Earth, feeling drastically different; in fact, I didn’t feel much of anything. The room wasn’t hot, or cold; everything was just… grayer. The good part, though, was that nothing hurt, either. My broken ribs were healed, as were the rest of my injuries._

_I sat up rubbing at the back of my head where I collided with the wall, feeling a brand new scar there, running parallel with the collar of my now ruined shirt. I stood up with surprisingly little effort, and exited my dwelling. The sun pierced through my eyes, still adjusted to the darker environment in my house-tent. When I raised my hand to blot out the sun, though, I noticed something really weird: my arm was pink._

_I looked at my other arm, and down at my chest to find that it wasn’t just my arm. My entire body had turned to Rose’s signature reddish-pink hue._

_“What is…?”_

_Suddenly, a booming voice echoed around the valley. “Lian!”_

_There was only one gem out there with a voice like that: Bismuth. Before I could look around and find her, though, I was already wrapped in her tight embrace, like I was being hugged by a bear._

“What’s a--?”

_Don’t mind it._

_She pulled away from me with a huge grin on her face. “Ha! I knew it’d take more than a few Rubies and Quartzes to do you in!” Her hand suddenly glowed, and changed shape into a cone with an open end. She held it up to her mouth, and shouted, “Hey everyone! Lian’s up!”_

_“Everyone?” I turned and saw an army of familiar faces marching toward me. Well, it was less marching than sprinting. They were upon me before I could blink, and, in their enthusiasm, nearly knocked me to the ground._

_“Lian! What took you so long?”_

_“Hey, I like your new form, Lian.”_

_“Pff, you took longer than Pearl does to get better, and that’s saying something.”_

_“You gotta tell us about the moon base!”_

_“Ooh, yeah, tell us the story~”_

_All it took was that one Amethyst in the back, and everyone started chanting at me to tell them the story._

_“That’s enough.” Rose’s voice came from the back, somehow both gentle and stern; the Crystal Gems cleared an opening for her and Pearl to go through. They both approached me at a solemn pace, and Rose formally dropped to her knees in front of me._

_Her pink curls obscured her face, so I couldn’t tell what she was thinking; I dropped to my knees with her._

_“I… don’t know what to say.” She idly gnawed at her lower lip. “I’m sorry, and… Thank you.”_

_“Hey. You can thank me all you like, but…” I reached up to her face, and brushed a large curl over to her shoulder. Her simple, doughy eyes stared as intently as mine. “Apologies are another story.”_

_“But I got you killed, Lian! You got badly hurt, and… You didn’t make it.”_

_I’d had that thought, but Rose saying it herself kind of verified that story for me. Still, I didn’t think much of it. “Well, I’m still here, right?”_

_Rose, still seeming to be broken up about it, bit her lip harder, and pulled me tight. I could have stayed like that forever. Over her shoulder, though, I saw Pearl looking at me. I saw so many different emotions at the same time, but I couldn’t tell which one was dominant. She looked relieved that I was okay, but at the same time, she seemed anxious about something, and jealous of how long Rose had been holding me._

“So, you got powers by dying?”

“Exactly.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“I know.”

**…**

After months and months of training, I’m finally as good at juggling as Spinel. Yay me. I never thought I’d say it, but I’m starting to miss fighting monsters.

Spinel’s comfortable moving around now, at least. Hide and seek is fun enough, though we don’t have much space to hide in. Well, actually, space isn’t really the problem, now that I think about it. Tag is kind of unfair, with Spinel’s elastic body, and complete disregard for equivalency when it comes to games. I mean, yeah, I can make portals and stuff, but it’s not like that’s incredibly helpful when she can literally cover the entire garden with her body.

I can’t imagine she played with Rose this way; maybe she’s finally playing the way she wants to, rather than the way she thinks others want her to. Maybe she’s finally opening up a bit more, and forgetting about Pink.

No, that’s not likely. Still, I can only hope.

**…**

“So, how does this work, again?” Spinel holds a stick that’s probably too big for her in front of her body just the way I showed her.

“I want you to pretend this is a sword.”

“Why?”

“I’m starting to get rusty, and I need a sparring partner.”

Spinel shrugs, always open to new experiences. She swings the stick around experimentally, albeit clumsily. “You want me to hit you with this thing?”

“I want you to try.”

“Heh, how hard can that be?” Spinel swings the stick at my head abruptly.

I duck down to my front leg, swing my back leg around, and sweep her legs from under her. Of course, a sweep isn’t gonna work for Spinel: she just catches herself with her non-stick wielding arm.

“That was really cool, Lian!”

I respond by beckoning her to continue assaulting me.

Spinel swings her whole body around, and swings vertically at me. I hold my arms in front of my body, and sidestep at the last second. She swings again, this time at my body; I vault over the stick and step around to her back. She spins around and takes another swing at me. I lift my knee and bump the bottom of the stick while bending my back the other way, forcing the swing to go over my head.

“I think I found something you’re not super great at, Spinel.”

“No, I’m fine at this, I should be able to…” She wraps one of her arms around me, and brings the stick around to my head. “There!”

“You want to use our powers?”

“Was… I not supposed to?”

“Nah, it’s fine.” I wriggle my hand free of her grasp and open a portal beneath my feet.

“What?” 

I create a bubble around myself, loosening her grip on me, and drop through the portal. I appear next to a tree and break one of the branches off. “Alright. Let’s do this, then.”

**…**

“How on Earth do you do that?”

Spinel walks circles around me, but on her hands. “You mean this?”

“Yes. That.”

Spinel stands back up, this time on her feet. “Hm… well, I just kind of stand on my arms instead of my feet.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t help.”

“Just try it.”

“Fine,” I sigh. I crouch down, and lean all of my weight on my hands, letting my feet rise above me.

“That’s it! You’re doing great.”

“Huh, this really is eas--” I start to lean forward accidentally, and walk my arms forward to compensate. Unfortunately, I walk a bit too far forward, and my legs are left dangling behind me. Not wanting to fall, I panic and move my arms backward as fast as I can, only to find that, once again, I’ve gone too far. This time, though, the consequences are more severe. I completely lose my balance, and fall flat on my back.

Spinel sucks in air through her teeth. “Ooh, are you alright?”

I weeze, “Yup. Just great.”

“Okay, good.” Spinel bursts out laughing at my shameful display, hard enough to conjure tears from her eyes. She doubles over, pounding the ground with her hands and feet, before rolling around in circles.

I sigh and sit up before joining in her laughter.

**…**

“You’ve never tried drawing before?”

“Nope, not a single line.”

“Jeez, well… here.” I create a bubble big enough for the two of us, and blow hot breath at the wall.

“So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Look.” I scribble a rough sketch of Spinel into the wall of my bubble.

“What’s that supposed to be?”

“Uh, you?”

Spinel covers her mouth, and fails to hide her laughter.

“Oh, yeah? Why don’t you draw something better?”

“No, no, I’d like to keep looking at your drawings, Lian. I want to see what else the master artist has to offer.”

I ruffle my hair dramatically and drop my bubble before walking away sulkily.

Later, I return to Spinel to see her crouched on the ground, in one of the few parts of the Garden with loose soil. There, I see a nearly perfect portrait of Pink, down to her puffy hair, and familiar plump lips.

“Hey, Lian?”

Her tone is soft, almost pained.

“Thanks for showing me this.”

“...Anytime.”

**…**

“What’s sleep?”

“Sleep is when the brain more or less shuts down to process the day’s new events, or, in my case, the year’s.”

“So, you kind of die for a little bit?”

“That’s… not how I would describe it, but kind of.”

“And you want me to try it, why?”

“Hey, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in years now, thank you, and your squeaky shoes are beginning to make me irritable.” As if to prove my point, Spinel takes another step, and my eye twitches involuntarily.

“Sure, but that doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“You always wanna try new stuff, though.” Spinel shrugs as if she doesn’t know for a fact that I’m right.

“Just… come here for a second. You can always wake me up if you get too bored.”

“Oooookay.”

I lay down on my back, and Spinel does the same. I close my eyes, and… I assume Spinel does the same. Now, I just have to wait for the sweet, sweet tides of sleep to roll in and take me aw--

“This is boring.”

“Just give it a minute. Don’t move, don’t talk, don’t think. Just shut down for awhile.”

Spinel grumbles to herself, but complies anyway.

Soon enough, I drown out the subtle buzzing of the Garden’s ventilation system, and the dim light of stars penetrating my eyelids.

_Everything is pink. Pink meadow, pink sky with pink clouds, stretching to a hill on the horizon bearing a pink-petaled tree, and covered in -- you guessed it -- pink roses._

_I make my way over to the hill, and hear a familiar box clicking shut._

_“There. Everything’s ready.”_

_“Ready for what?” I peak the hill and watch as Rose turns around to face me._

_“Oh…”_

_Oh boy. She’s about to tell me something she doesn’t want to, isn’t she?_

_“Lian. I’m so sorry. This is all so sudden, this all came up so fast, and I… I couldn’t contact you.”_

_I stand taller, hands in fists by my sides. “Whatever it is, Rose, I can be there. I can help you face anything.”_

_“You… don’t understand. I am having… A child.”_

_A child? Is she crazy? Well, actually, I know the answer to that question, but still!_

_“Are you absolutely sure that’s a good idea, Rose?”_

_“I know. I will not survive. But, you see, my child will be something incredible! He will grow, and change, and live as a true part of this wonderful world; He’ll have thoughts and feelings, all of his own! He’ll be… A human.”_

_“Rose, I…” Damnit tears, now’s not the time._

_Rose approaches my, and brushes my cheek with her hand. “I know you’ll do a great job, even without me.”_

_That’s not what I’m worried about--not at all.“What about Pearl and Amethyst? Hell, even Garnet will be lost without you!” I don’t know where it came from, but my sadness is quickly turning to anger. “You… you can’t keep running away, Rose. I know you’ve wanted to get rid of everything for a long time, now. Since before I ever met you, all you’ve ever wanted was an escape!”_

_“That’s not…”_

_“And now you’re going to give up your form, and what else? Are you even still going to be conscious? You’re going to pass on all the responsibility you’ve given yourself to me? And to your child?”_

_“Lian, I--”_

_“Another war is coming, and we both know it. Is that why you’re doing this? Because you can’t fight another war?”_

_“Hold on, for just a second--”_

_I turn away from her frustratedly. “I understand that you don’t want to fight another war. Living day to day, not knowing if you’ll continue to exist through the next, and worse, not knowing if your friends will make it either? But, you--” I turn back to face her, my anger finally coming out. “You can’t just drop that on all of us! Not me, not on Pearl, or Garnet, and especially not a damn kid!”_

_“Lian, that’s enough.” Rose takes a step away from me, and turns toward the meadowgrass. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m just a coward, forever running away from the consequences of my actions.”_

_Rose sways with the breeze, before her mouth opens again. She takes a deep breath, and sings. “~I always thought, I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true…~”_

_“Rose?”_

_“~cause, I think you’re so good, and I’m nothing like you; look at you go, I just adore you… I wish that I knew~what makes you think I’m so special~”_

_She takes a step toward the pink Meadowgrass._

_“If I could~begin to do~Something that does right by you~”_

_She steps and turns around so that her heels are in the meadow._

_“I would do about anything~”_

_“Wait, hold on!”_

_“Lian. I’m sorry. I’m sorry to leave you alone, to leave the shards for you to pick up. But, just know… This isn’t about escaping from my mistakes. It’s not about cleaning them up, either. It’s about… bringing something new to the world. Something better. Someone who deserves you all.”_

_“Rose…”_

_“Take care of them for me, Lian.”_

_She falls backward into the meadow, disappearing into the thick grass._

_“~I would even learn how to love~” The last note holds for a few seconds, just long enough to pull the tears from my eyes._

_“~Like you.”_

“Lian!”

I jolt awake, looking frantically for any sign of her. What did I just do? I told her off, but for what? She already knew how I felt, I didn’t need to go and yell at her.

“I was kind of scared for a minute there, buddy.”

She’s really going through with it.

“Hey, Lian?”

God, I’m never going to see her again, and that’s how I decided to end things? By yelling at her? Trying to make her doubt herself? Taking out my frustrations on her? What the hell is wrong with me?

“Liaaaaaan.”

I look up and see Spinel. She’s got her arms on my shoulders, gripping a bit too tightly. 

“There ya are. I guess you’re still a bit sleepy, eh?”

I’m never going to see her again. Not her plump smile, not her doughy eyes, nor her pink curly hair. I’ll never talk to her again, or make her laugh, or even grin. Not a single giggle. I’ll never again watch her determined eyes burn defiantly in the face of danger, and I’ll never get to tell her I’m sorry for yelling at her.

Wait, that’s not necessarily true; she’s probably not going to give birth for another long while, right? I can make it back and talk to her. I mean, really talk to her. 

I can see her smile again. I have to.

“I need to go.”

“Huh?” Spinel giggles nervously. “Heh, I thought you didn’t have to use the bathroom anymore?”

“No, Spinel. I need to go.”

“W-what?”

“I need to Leave. Vacate. Return from whence I came.”

“You… y-you can’t leave, Lian, you’re playing the game!”

“I quit.”

“N-no,” Looks around nervously. “You can’t.” She stands up. “You don’t.”

“You can come with me, Spinel.”

“No, I can’t!”

“You can be brave.”

“N-no, I have to s-stay here, I…”

“Spinel, I’m…” Spinel looks at me with big eyes. I’m going to have to leave her here, aren’t I? “Sorry.”

I walk past her, near the warp pad, trying to find Earth.

“I said no. You’re not done playing.”

“This isn’t a game anymore, Spinel.” I look up into the stars. “I have to see her.”

Suddenly, Spinel wraps her arms around my body, and lifts me up off the ground, before slamming me back into the stone floor.

I sit up and brush the debris off of me. “Don’t do this. Please.”

“No, YOU don’t do this!”

“All the time we spent together… Don’t make me fight you, Spinel.”

Spinel chokes up. “You were always just going to leave, weren’t you? You were going to leave me here, all alone!”

“No, I--”

“Oh, can it! I saw the look in your eyes, you miss your Rose Quartz. You want to leave me here alone, just so you can see her!”

“Spinel, that may be true, but you’re missing some important context, here.”

“I. Don’t. Care! You told me you would stay with me until Pink comes back!”

“Spinel, that’s--”

“Don’t.” Spinel shoots a glare at me.

“You need to know the truth!”

“Don’t say it, Lian.”

“Pink was… Shattered.”

A gutteral noise escapes from Spinel as she lunges at me with all her might, barely giving me enough time to summon a shield. Her fists rap against it powerfully, and without mercy. She strikes my shield over and over again, and I’m pushed back before I know it.

“That’s a lie! You think you can get away from me that easily?” She hits my shield with a right hook, knocking it out of my hands. It blips out of existence as it lands a distance away. “Well, buddy, I’ve got some news for ya!” She reels her left arm back a few times, before throwing a punch right into my stomach. I manage to catch it, but not before it makes awful, tender contact; I feel the air leave my lungs, and I drop to a knee. She leans in, and gives me a caustic wink. “You’re gonna have to try harder than that, Lian.” 

I don’t have time for this. Rose is going to die while I sit here pathetically. I’m never going to see her again. Spinel keeping me here is really starting to piss me off.

“Spinel,” I weeze, slowly standing back up. “Pink Diamond is dead.”

“Shut up!” She takes a swing at my face.

Her strike is much too slow this time; I catch her hand in mine long before it reaches me.

“Pink. Diamond. is. dead.” She tries again with the other arm, but yields the same result.

“Stop it.”

I grip both of her hands tightly. “She’s dead, Spinel! _Dead._ Gone. She’s never, EVER coming back!”

“S-stop.” 

“You’ll never see her again.” 

Spinel’s eyes glaze over as she looks me in the eyes, looking for any sign of a lie. “Pink?”

Spinel’s legs shake, and her fists loosen; she crumples to the ground, gravity’s pull suddenly too strong for her. I take a seat next to her, as well, now noticing the wet spots on my own cheeks, and the shakiness of my breaths.

“She’ll never come back.”

Spinel opens her mouth to respond, but all she can manage is a sob. It’s quiet, and reserved, but manages to echo around the garden nonetheless. 

I sit there, letting the tears and snot run down my face like a child. When was the last time I cried like this? I can’t remember. The garden fills up with sounds of weeping and sniffles.

“Spinel.” I lean forward and wrap my arms around her shoulders. “I’m... sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

Spinel uses a bit of my shirt to blow her nose. Any other time, I’d object, but this is a special circumstance.

“Listen to me. Please.” I pull away and look Spinel in the eyes. “Rose… There’s nothing in the Universe that’s more important to me than her, but… She’s going to give up her physical form to have a human child.”

Spinel’s eyes widen before returning to normal in realisation. “So that’s why…” She looks away and frowns with her teeth. “I-I understand. I won’t stop you from…” She takes a long breath. “From leaving.”

“I was... hoping to convince you to come with me.”

“Yeah, right. I’m sure you’re so interested in being my friend after that.” Spinel gestures toward the cracks in the concrete left by our little battle.

“I totally am.”

She looks at me sideways, still looking for deceit. “Why?”

“Are you kidding? You’re fun to be around, Spinel. You’re funny, and strong, and good. I know I’m probably not your best friend, but… I think you’re mine.”

“You... aren’t kidding?”

“Not even a little bit.”

She looks around the garden wistfully. I can almost see the wisps of her memories playing among the fallen leaves and branches: jumping, dancing, rolling around as Pink giggled at her antics. It truly is a pretty picture to imagine.

“Alright.” 

“Hm?”

“I’ll do it. Go with you, I mean.”

I can’t help the huge grin on my face as I stand up, and offer Spinel a shaky hand. She takes it hesitantly, and I attempt to pull her up. When I do, her arm simply extends, and I nearly lose my balance.

“Hey.”

“Ha! Classic.” Spinel retracts her arm, and I help her up.

I let go of Spinel’s hand, and her smile begins to fade a bit. “Hey, don’t worry.” I hook my arm in her’s, instead. “I won’t leave you alone.”

I raise my free hand in front of me, and focus. There’s a pink spark, and I let out a powerful yell to open up a series of portals all in a row.

“Woah.”

I take a step toward the portal. “Let’s go.”

She looks around the Garden one last time, before giving me a nod. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love if you guys leave me some feedback, whether it be positive or negative! I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading!


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